Today I have officially "let go" of food. Letting go of asking, worrying, planning and trying to decide what the hell I'm going to eat.
Yesterday I realized many things, but for starters, I came to the conclusion one of the reasons I am miserable with myself and what I have been eating is because inside I know that eating breads, pizzas, pastas, and all that delicious, soft, comforting gluten-rich foods have been the biggest cause for not only my weight gain, but also of my suppression to anxiety and worries.
After reading a piece on Resonant Agreements by Bernard Poolman (desteni.co.za) which was incredible helpful, he mentions that we only have a short time on earth in our bodies and it is best to take care of it as much as possible!
I mean, seriously, consider this -- we do have a certain amount of time here on Earth and yet people (like me) abuse it by serious overeating and shoving our emotions down with food. Why not make the best out of our bodies, which is such an excellent physical machine for us!!!
So yes, I have cracked last night about this and realized that my body is precious, and awesome and that I have been forgetting about it for a very long time. Because guess what? I've been so consumed in my mind that I lost touch of what is here -- what I am...I am Here. In the physical -- not in my mind -- which is a very yucky thing...to be in the mind -- takes you away from Here.
And that's another thing. I thought about reincarnation and that fact that I am very likely to come back here in a next life...
And with that being mentioned, I began to freak out -- to try and ignore the idea of coming back here in this world. Why? Why did fear overcome my entire body?
Because my friends, I realized that I didn't want to come back here. I don't like what is going on here.
Why Michelle?
Because I don't like:
How we treat each other
How we have to fight for survival
Money System
The Education System
Which propels me to ask the question:
How can I change this world?
The people of desteni.co.za are not a cult -- they are simply a group of beings dedicated to researching and communicating to the world about literally and physically changing this world so we can actually have a Heaven on Earth. I have been back reading their material, which talks heavily on bringing change through an equal money system, healing ourselves through self forgiveness and how to direct oneself as a means to take control over the secret mind/ego.
There is a lot to share -- but many of these supporters are attending University now to become educated in our current money system so they can actually change and direct the current system so everyone can actually live equally -- which is nothing like communism -- and for more info check equalmoney.org
Anyways -- I want to share something with you guys:
Look at the world around you. Sure, it may seem nice because you are in a comfortable home with 3 TVs, enough food in the fridge. But actually, outside of all that, there is a TON of suffering. Like suffering we cannot imagine or see right now in our physical life -- but if we could tap into each being, we'd be astounded by how some lives are lived and experienced....
I have realized through reading Conversations with God and material on desteni.co.za that we have more responsible than we could have ever imagine. And it's serious -- like real serious. That is why it is SO IMPORTANT to take care of yourself and accept yourself
Make sure you are not consumed with thoughts and feelings of anger, hate, self-abuse and to hide your feelings/emotions through food, drugs, addictions, etc because you think that doesn't effect the world -- oh baby it does-- and I'm JUST beginning to realize this.
To one it may be "scary" but I realized that your mind is what may make "it scary." Relax, breathe and be with yourself. You are your best friend, your true friend, you will always be Here for yourself -- but your ego/mind takes that realization away from you.
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