My Resistance To Meat

Something interesting happened today.

My mom asked what I wanted for dinner and what came up within me was a hamburger -- basically, I wanted meat.

Signals fired off in my head:

I thought you were a vegetarian...


Your sister is going to judge you...she's right you know, you are always changing your diet...


You're never consistent with your diet...


You tell family and friends that you're one thing (vegan/vegetarian) and then next thing you know you go back to eating meat... 


I can't help but swing back to the Blood Type Diet.  That diet alone truly is a practical assistance in supporting me and what my body is designed to eat -- however, I have been quite "educated" within the vegan/vegetarian lifestyle about meat and it's abuse to animals and frankly I don't know what to do.

A part of me does not want to eat meat because I do not like the meat industry and what happens to animals...
On a second note, my body, Blood Type O is designed to consume meat and it supports the body (according to what it says)...
But then according to vegans/raw foodists/vegetarians, our body is physically not designed to eat meat (like with our teeth, and our intestines it's not that of a carnivores) and that eating meat basically "lowers one's vibrations."

(Sigh)

Why can't I just make PEACE with food?

When I stopped eating meat last summer I felt really good in the sense that I wasn't supporting the killing of animals and the meat industry.  However, during that time I dived into the raw food/vegan lifestyle, which is a lifestyle I have always felt "drawn too."

That is where I have realized that I created a "world" within me in regards to being a vegan/raw foodist/vegetarian.

You see, in my "picture perfect world," I am a vegan -- most preferably a raw foodist. I am  healthy, thin with glowing, clear skin.  I am happy, charming, I have nice hair, I am confident, I am positive in everything I do.  I am beautiful, and because of that, I attract beautiful people, nice people, positive people, and have a positive life.

So, image is a factor-- that's a point to look into.  Because to me, being "healthy" is being "beautiful."  Eating something "negative" or with a "lower vibration" such as meat will harm me and my karma.

SO here I'm like "Fuck, I can't eat meat because of (insert thousands of reasons) "

But the most interesting part of this whole experience is that when I was actually following this vegan/raw foods lifestyle, I was amazed by how seperate of a position I put myself in with The World.

It was uncomfortable for me to go out with friends because I would worry about what to eat...
When I would say "I don't eat meat" or that I'm a "vegetarian" a certain pride would come up in me, which is dangerous!
I literally felt "better than everyone" because I was following this "nice" lifestyle, thus, if you were eating meat, you were disgusting to me...

But most prominently was me thinking I was better than everyone because I'm not eating animal products.  (Sigh) I see how this has seperated me from everyone else in this World, plus it seperates me from the animals, those who actually give up their lives to support us here in this world.

I sit here about to type "I'm not sure WHAT to eat now..."  Yeah, you do Michelle.  Look within you.  It's that simple.  What do you want to eat? Without any judgement or any fears?

Food has always been an issue for me -- a comfort, a way to hide.  But it's also been an emotional "pain" and a worry that I deal with on a constant basis because: I let it bother me.


On the Desteni forums there are discussions on food.  One person writes "eat food, not too much, not too little."  Another says "don't judge food, don't fear food."

Basically, EAT FOOD, and EAT WHAT YOUR BODY WANTS!

So yeah, I want some meat tonight.  I won't judge it, but eat it.

The end!